When Grief Overwhelms:

Do You Feel Understood in
Your Grief?

Valerie Kay, Psy.D
Life Coach

 

Heart-rending loss brings grief: a searing, shocking, sometimes incapacitating pain. Each person’s experience of loss and its accompanying anguish is unique; one’s suffering is a personal truth that cannot be denied. To try to persuade oneself to feel and behave as others, family members and friends, deem “appropriate” is to do oneself a serious disservice. Loss is a fact, not something that can be "got over” within a prescribed time period. The opinions of those who cannot be impartial hinder the process of intense grief that can, when one honors one’s own wisdom, lead to new knowledge.


Yet the pain, anger, exhaustion, and frustration of grief can leave one feeling a sense of powerlessness comparable to that of being submerged by a ferocious wave. And between these overwhelming assaults the feeling of being acutely bereft continues. But trying to turn away from one’s emotional distress masks what sorrow can teach. Ellen Bass writes, “When I try to avoid my sorrows the impact of my grief seems to increase.” She suggests that to surrender to one’s pain enables one to cope with the process of grieving. The courage to grieve is akin to the courage to love. For without love, grief would not exist. But how does one achieve what seems hopelessly improbable: and to learn to accept and honor the loss and live with renewed self-respect?

 

As an experienced and compassionate coach I help grieving individuals express, identify, and thereby better understand their feelings. Through an ongoing dialogue, we can begin to explore the many meanings of the loss and come to terms with the emotional effects. In my work I endeavor to be impartial and wise and to empower you to shed the tyranny of self-criticism and remorse that may pervade your experience of grieving. Our goal is to help you to gradually start to face living with the loss, glean a new perspective that embraces the profound meanings of this experience, and gain the strength to manage your most difficult feelings.

Needless to say, this process requires patience and courage. Remember, you do not have to face the complexities of shattering loss alone! If you are mourning and choose to work with me, together we can create a balance between sadness and a renewed sense of purpose.

I cannot take away your grief, but I can patiently meet you in your experience.

Please feel free to telephone or email me to find if I am the right person for you. 415-789-8244

 

Integrated Psychology Associates (I.P.A.) Offices

Main Office: 2859 Sacramento Street, San Francisco, CA 94115
(Please use this address for general correspondence.)
Main Telephone and Facsimile: (415) 331-5433
(See phone numbers for individual Associates on their pages. Use number above for general questions and for faxes.)
Other Offices:
405 Clement St., Suite 2, San Francisco, CA 94118

45 Camino Alto, Suite 203, Mill Valley, CA 94941

2424 Dwight Way, Suite 7, Berkeley, CA 94704

(Additional East Bay offices in Walnut Creek and Oakland, CA)